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For Immediate Release

News Release:  April 1, 2007

Wine Blogger To Become The Ninth “Oprah Friend” and Resident Wine Guru

Good Grape Inks Landmark Deal to be the Official Wine Blogger and Online Sales Outlet for The Oprah Winfrey Show, Joining eight other “Oprah Friends” in the Resource Panel Super Group

Chicago, IL—Plucked from obscurity, Jeff, the writer and mind behind the wine blog Good Grape.com has been hand selected to become the ninth “Oprah Friend” slated for regular re-occurring appearance on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show.”

Said Winfrey’s 2nd assistant public relations coordinator for interns, Tess Tickle, “It’s true, the date of today’s press release is no coincidence, Mr. Lefevere was the 4th person we contacted, the first person to respond, and unfortunately, our seventh choice.  We decided to announce on 04/01/07 in homage to the incredible fickle finger of fate nature of his selection and also because, frankly, we’re embarrassed and hoped that we’d miss the news cycle by announcing on a Sunday.”

Tickle continued, “Oprah is interested in re-balancing the power of the wine world away from the Parker’s and the Wine Spectator’s of the world and give it back to the people while maybe taking a piece of the action if she can.  Lefevere seemed willing, eager almost, to go déclassé for some money.”

Expected to join the show in months that have five weeks during leap years, Lefevere is expected to provide wine advice to the millions of dedicated viewers while accepting online orders at his web site, http://www.goodgrape.com in order to capitalize on “The Oprah Effect.”

Lefevere said, “When my wife was making me watch a Tivo’ed episode of ‘Oprah’s Favorite Things’ during the holiday season I couldn’t figure out why these seemingly normal women in the audience were going goofy out of their gourd for some free truffles and books, but I said to myself, ‘Self:  how can I get a piece of this action.’ ”

“The Oprah Effect” is a selling phenomenon whereby an implicit endorsement by Winfrey on her show can drive record sales for the product. 

Lefevere continued, “I couldn’t figure out how to get my piece of the Oprah action until I watched ‘The Secret’ episode and then watched sales of this book go through the roof.  Pshaw … the premise of the book is, essentially, the Law of Attraction which simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about.  Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest.  From that point on, I started mentally fixating on becoming incredibly wealthy selling wine online to Oprah fans.  Ha.  Can you believe it?  Here I am.” 

Lefevere is expected to help select wines, present them on the show and then sell them off of his web site to the legion of Oprah fans that eagerly buy anything she endorses, like helpless, slavish drones desperate for excitement in between a typical Tuesday and a normal “Consumer Saturday.”

Winfrey has been hunting for a wine expert since news reports in late 2006 heralded the health benefits of wine.  Health experts Bob Greene and Dr. Mehmet Oz, both teetolers, endorsed the selection of Lefevere with Greene noting, “I guess he’s better than nothing, and since I don’t drink at least his limited reach with his blog will mean he won’t be overly competitive in taking away mindshare from the rest of us.  That damn Gayle King is always getting first crack at the good projects and we don’t need any more competition.”

Lefevere responded in kind with, “I love Bob Greene and his book, ‘Be True to Your School’ it’s amazing to me that he was able to go from being a dumpy middle-aged author and a columnist for the Chicago Tribune and then completely come out of nowhere to turn himself into a fitness guru. I mean, he doesn’t even look like the same guy.  I hope I can make the same transformation from wine blogger to multi-channel selling empire.”

Goodgrape.com is expected to be revamped to handle the expected site traffic and sales.  Gone will be the current design replaced by a softer, more feminine site designed to appeal to oaky chardonnay drinkers.

Lefevere noted, “Hell yeah I’ll redesign my site to appeal to chicks and, to be honest, I can be bought.  Heck, I’m even setting up a PO BOX for payola.  Anybody that wants their wine to be considered for inclusion on the show segments or the web site should first send a query letter to the PO Box with bills in small denominations and then subsequently send me two cases of the wine for sampling.”

XXX



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Posted in, Free Run: Field Notes From a Wine Life. Permalink | Comments (2) |


Comments

On 04/04, Tim wrote:

Good one, Jeff. Watch out for Gail, I hear she’s a real big Super Tuscan fan wink

On 05/24, TN Pas Cher wrote:

atch out for Gail, I hear she’s a real big Super Tus


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