As a good (albeit lapsed) Catholic boy with 12 years of Catholic schooling under my belt, I am used to saying these words, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”
That statement, in a confessional booth with a priest, was followed by a litany of small, inconsequential sins for which I was asking for forgiveness.
Father would give me three “Hail Mary’s,” four “Our Father’s” and on down the road I would go.
Father Mascott, from the grade school I went to, went on to get married, but that is a post for another day, and much better than the other things priests are usually in the newspaper for …
To the readers of this blog, I ask for forgiveness because I have been drinking … something … other … than wine …
I have been dabbling in craft beer.
Horrors!
I am not talking Sam Adams or Blue Moon—more along the lines of high-end Double IPA’s from tiny brewers across the country.
With fall (bordering on winter) weather now gripping the Midwest, my palate has been asking for the gripping sweetness of a nice hopped-out beer. In fact, I am anxiously awaiting the release of seasonal beer called Hopslam that is released by Bells Brewery in Michigan on January 7th.
I wish I could say I was learning something relevant to wine enthusiasm, but, in fact, it is quite the opposite.
I might need to ask Father for forgiveness for a small rant …
First, it is very educational to drink craft beer as a layperson, because I look at the aisle of a specialty beer shop the same way that 95% of wine consumers look at a wall of wine, all labels and foreign excitement and anxiety; gawky like a teen on prom night. The craft beer aisle might as well be a double snap bra that requires a simultaneous pinch and twist. While interesting, it is also intimidating because I really do not know what I am buying – by definition, I could not tell you the difference between an IPA and an Imperial IPA – just like most cannot tell you the difference between Syrah from California and Shiraz from Australia. And, I do not know any of the producers / breweries either.
And, that is the problem from a consumer perspective. I am buying a pig-in-the-poke. Instinctively, I find myself trying to read beer labels, like a wine bottle, but there is scant copy.
Yet, the U.S. beer world is blindly following the same marketing tactics as the U.S. wine world, just 25 years later.
I want to tell somebody, anybody, to STOP!
It is maddening.
Increasingly, craft brewers are:
1) Bottling beer in large format 750 ml bottles
2) Bottling beer with corks
3) Creating marketing shtick with special glasses – ex: Sam Adams here
4) Increasing price points to luxury levels (I paid $8.49 for a single 12 oz beer from Dogfish Head Brewery—do the math for a 6-pack)
5) Naming beers with wacky names like Dreadnaught and Gumballhead
6) Rating beers on a 100 pt. scale.
7) Using lifestyle marketing tactics
8) Creating celebrity, “midas touch” brewers
9) Pairing beer with food
In an interesting bit of irony, I am currently drinking a beer called Ommegeddon in a large format bottle, with a cork/champagne-like enclosure that has been inoculated with Brettanomyces – yes, Brett; the bane of every winemaker. Next up is a lambic with a cork finish – the cork has a grape bunch on it because, well, I do not think nomacorc makes corks for beer quite yet.
And, here is what I want to tell every craft brewer –
“We (speaking on behalf of the wine industry) have tried the tactics you are trying and the thing that we have found that works best is engaging with customers on a one-to-one basis, providing meaningful education, being accessible, but not goofy and, most of all, demonstrating our passion for creating a high-quality product with a compelling storytelling narrative that is authentic.”
The rest is all marketing. And, while marketing is a sin that a Priest forgives, what they do not forgive are capital sins – that is what purgatory is for.
Here’s hoping the craft brew industry learns some lessons from the wine industry before going into consumer purgatory without getting a chance at heaven.
Links of Interest: Craft brew article in this weeks The New Yorker