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Letter to (a) God

Life is funny.  Especially when you strip away that which seems important, but really isn’t.  Down to the core, the essence, the things that make us who we are:  family, memories, food, wine, generations, all in a setting that lets us know we’re blessed. 

This is a letter I wrote to a friend of mine, a friend that we all share.  I suppose Dionysus, in this age of social media, is the connective fiber that ties many of us together.  Just the same, without the support of family, our ability to be a friend is merely window-dressing.  Who we are is what we have to give.

Summer wanes ... and I get reflective about the things that are important in life.
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Bordeaux, the WineBlueBook and Free!

Yeah, yeah, yeah ... I know ... real wine enthusiasts—learned folks who have sense enough to understand their palate and form an opinion about wine—typically run in the opposite direction of wine scores, leaving the score whoring for the Chiropractor with the half full cellar of Mollydooker and Marquis Phillips. 

I get that. 

And, I also get that you can have a commanding knowledge of the New World and still not know how to pronounce “Gironde.”  For the record, it sounds like “Jerome” after a six-pack and a buddy’s dare to gargle a bag of marbles.  It could be worse, though – you could call it a “river” instead of an “estuary.” 

For that reason, and for every other wine enthusiast who started in the New World before moving backwards, I’m thankful that the Bordeaux marketing people are pulling together an iPhone application that will release in October.

As reported at Decanter.com, the iPhone application (and the CIVB) hopes to provide a wine fact sheet based on a user photograph of a bottle. Brilliant!

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All that’s required is for Bordeaux’s 9,000 wine estates to upload the appropriate information for some 15 -20,000 different wines from now until October 1.

Um, if a bookie handicapped this one I’d take the under.

Thankfully, for the inveterate learner, there are options for navigating the Bordeaux maze:  Like the WineBlueBook (WBB).

I’ve long been a fan and have written about WineBlueBook on several occasions.  Publisher Neil Monnens aggregates wine scores from popular wine publications and produces a monthly buying guide that groups individual wines by score, lists them by price, and then assigns a value percentage.  He helped popularize the notion of quality-to-price ratio (QPR) in wine, a phrase that has taken on its own life and is reasonably unique to the wine world. 

Really, Neil’s system is a beautiful way to provide meaning to scores and flatten the hegemony of a singular palate, as well. 

Plus, it takes a yeoman’s effort to do the data aggregation and WBB does what CellarTracker does except it’s based on professional criticism.  As I mentioned, I’m a fan.  And, I use it for value judgments.  As aggregated by WineBlueBook, if at least three professional critics profess a wine to have a mean average score of 92 and it’s a $35 bottle, I’ve just given myself a bit of purchase insurance, all for $25 while receiving 12 issues measuring 1000s of wines over a year’s time.

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Now, my point in bringing up WineBlueBook in a reasonably non-sequitar fashion is Neil published a Bordeaux special edition issue this month – it’s 107 pages of aggregate scores and value rankings on thousands of Bordeaux wines.

If you are even slightly Bordeauxlexic, this is a tremendous resource.  Now, don’t get me wrong, the WineBlueBook isn’t going to impart wisdom or pontificate about the resplendent joys of a particular varietal, region or country, but it does get down to brass tacks regarding what professional critics think of the wine, how much that wine costs and whether that wine is a value relative to its price in peer rankings.

A copy of the WineBlueBook and Wine-Searcher.com and you’re in business in cutting through significant morass in the wine aisle on Consumer Saturday.

And, Neil, good guy that he is, at my request, is giving a PDF copy of the Bordeaux report to Good Grape readers for FREE.  Personally, I email my issues to my Kindle and read them there, but you can view it on your PC or print a copy off for leisure reading, you’ll receive the issue as an attachment to email.

To get your Bordeaux issue, leave a comment on this post and tell me the first name of the first person you French kissed (you don’t really have to do that, but you do have to leave a comment … or, just send me an email at jlefevere AT gmail DOTCOM) and I will have Neil send you a no obligation / no additional harassment copy of the August Bordeaux issue.


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Paying it forward with a Wonderfully Obscure Wine Varietal with a Weird Name

It’s true; I have never been affected by a wine book as I have been by Terry Theise’s “Reading between the Wines,” a book that invites both searching introspection and external exploration (review here).  Therefore, when Theise waxes philosophic about Scheurebe (SHOY-ray-beh) in his book, a heretofore-unknown German varietal wine that has just 4,400 acres under vine in Deutschland, I take the sleuthing challenge.

And, so too should you …

Now, I am not always so moved to search out answers, particularly when you consider that my consumer jade-o-meter realizes that Theise has a stake in inviting intrigue about such things.  Yet, when Theise describes Scheurebe in his book as, “… Riesling just after it read the Kama Sutra,” the intrepid wine explorer in me becomes curious.

Then, when Theise notes, “Put another way, (Scheurebe) is what Riesling would be if Riesling were a transvestite.  If Riesling expresses all that is Noble and Good, (Scheurebe) offers all that is Dirty and Fun.  It is Riesling’s evil, horny twin,” I’m called to action …

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And, I’m called to action not because I have a particular fondness for panty hose and transvestites, but because I do have a curiosity about the fringes of societal norms, understanding, expectations and the neglected margins in any subject matter, Adam’s apples, razor burn, lipstick and stilettos notwithstanding.  That, and, well, anything that contextualizes wine as more “reverse cowgirl” than “missionary” is intriguing …

The fact is Scheurebe is on the fringe, a niche before anybody knows it is a niche.  It’s Harvey Fierstein in Hairspray to the layperson. 

Scheurebe might not be as obscure as a transvestite in Indianapolis, but it’s obscure nonetheless … In fact, according to a Google keyword search analysis, the keyword, “Scheurebe wine” garners just 36 global searches a month.  And, near as I can tell, the only domestic bottling of this mercurial grape is a late harvest dessert wine from Joseph Phelps.  So slight is the awareness of this grape varietal in the pantheon of varietal esoterica, the Wine Century Club, known for highlighting esoteric grape varietals, doesn’t list Scheurebe on its varietal worksheet.

Developed by German viticulturalist Dr. Georg Scheu in 1916 as a cross between Riesling and an unknown wild vine, the science experiment was an attempt at developing cold hardiness by creating a Riesling hybrid. 

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The resulting wine is aromatic (as you might suspect) and has a reputation for picking up aggressive and unpleasant grapefruit aromas and flavors if picked underripe, or if it’s planted in the wrong location – Riesling sites being the top choice for plantings, obviously a conundrum for a varietal that is scarcely known.  It makes little sense to rip and replace the proven for the quirky.  That is, unless Theise has his way.

In a Wine & Spirits article by Peter Liem, Theise is quoted as saying, “I liked it from the first sip I had, because I thought there was something joyful in its gaudiness.”

And, indeed, the Scherebe you’re likely to run across would come from Theise’s portfolio, significantly mitigating the chance of picking up a wine that is a drag (pun intended), with the aforementioned under ripe grapefruit notes.

As commerce goes, so to goes plantings.  If Theise is successful, he may single handedly create a category of interest amongst wine enthusiasts.

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That said, finding this rare German wine is difficult.  Based on Theise’s description, you might think you could find the wine in the classifieds of your local alternative weekly.  Close, but not quite. 

According to Wine-Searcher.com, unless you are a habitué of online wine retailers in NY, NJ and CA, it is doubtful you’ve ever run across a bottle, or seen it at your local bottle shop.

I purchased three different bottles of the reasonably priced wine ($13.99 - $19.99) from Chambers Street Wines in New York City, a wine shop known for its selection of natural, artisanal and quirky wines.

• Darting 2008 Pfalz Durkheimer Spielberg Scheurebe Spatlese ($19.99)
• Gysler 2009 Rheinhessen Scheurebe Halbtrocken ($13.99)
• Geil 2009 Rheinhessen Bechtheimer Heiligkreuz Scheurebe Kabinett ($13.99)

While it’s an outlier to actually review the wines because I have so little frame of historical reference and Theise is a part of the anti-points brigade, suffice to say that Scheurebe merits your own investigation and inquiry making it a wine varietal that is a part of your vocabulary – honeyed, with predominant stone fruit flavors, balancing acid and a subtle herbaceousness that is completely in tune with its larger surroundings. 

Scheurebe is, indeed, a wine, that may be, “Riesling after it read the Kama Sutra.”  More important (and fun) for the curious wine enthusiast, however, is the ability to describe a wine as, “Riesling’s evil, horny twin” and have the wine deliver for you.  Scheurebe does ... in spades ... or pantyhose, as it were.


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Does Following Your Wine Passion Equal Crazy?

There is a cottage industry of people writing self-help books and giving trade show speeches about following your passion.  “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life,” goes the mantra.  But, if you’re a wine enthusiast is following your passion crazy talk?

In fact, there’s a perfectly easy way to enjoy the fruit of the vine and it doesn’t require masochistic tendencies … it’s mostly at the kitchen table with a glass … as a consumer after work from a day job that presumably pays you commensurate with your capabilities.  It’s a lot easier that way, surely.

Yet, the notion of jumping into the wine business has been top of mind lately … I’ve been thinking about it because there are precious few wine enthusiasts who are passionate enough to write online or engage in leading social media activity who don’t have a desire to make their way into the wine business either as a member of the media, on the production side, in marketing, or in the supply-chain.

That’s a lot of people ready to pounce on an opportunity if it presented itself.

Some have acted on it; others are attempting to act on it.  I’ve already made a sojourn in and out of the business and I still think about it.  It’s the genteel nature, the collegial spirit, the rhythm of the seasons.  It’s the unfolding drama of watching something grow from nothing in between bud break and harvest and then turn into something magical during the winter quiet, the end result fostering conviviality and joy.

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However, despite the mind’s eye mental picture of idyll, the question about going into the wine business has to be asked:  Why invite the agony?

It’s not like it’s easy.  In fact, I know it’s hard—harder and less lucrative than the industry and job that most people are coming from.

I’ve been reading the stories about the difficult sales environment that persists for most small vintners.

I’ve been reading the stories and watching acquaintances with marketing chops hang their own shingle.

I’ve been reading the stories about the weather in California and the stress of whether grapes will ripen, Mother Nature’s sub-plot this year.

Privately, I’ve been talking with a Mendocino vineyard owner who has 120 tons of very good fruit ripening at this moment.  Its 120 tons that’s separate from what goes into his own luxury wine from the same vineyard—and he can’t find a buyer this year after contracts weren’t renewed.

Production in California is “rightsizing,” as they say.

Here’s the math he gave me:

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A ton of Chardonnay costs about $1300 to grow and get to market.  If he’s lucky, on a contract, he can sell it for $1100 a ton – it’s a paper loss, but a loss that can be rationalized as profitable against hard costs, but certainly not good business by any standard; it’s not “get ahead” living, more “get by” living.

However, if he makes wine from the tonnage, that creates another set of circumstances that has to be dealt with—there isn’t a market for expanded volume with his luxury label so he has to look at a second label.  One ton of grapes will yield about 60 cases.  So, our grower/vintner has a potential 7200 cases on his hands.  This grower can produce an exceptionally high quality wine from these grapes, but would have to forsake oak barrels for oak by-products.  Why oak at all you ask?  Because the price point and style of wine that’s selling right now requires it.

If he has $4 in costs per bottle and he sells the wine for $8 a bottle wholesale so the wine can go on the shelf at $12 a bottle he has a chance to earn a nice return on the grapes.

But, here’s the rub.  The second label hasn’t been created yet and creating a brand takes time and money.  Nor is there a sales channel for this to-be-created wine, either.

This marketing and sales activity is outside of his manpower and capabilities, so he would have to get outside assistance – branding, web development, marketing, sales activity.  Those are all costs with uncertain returns.

Of course, forget about bank financing because that has become exceedingly difficult to earn, especially for efforts that can’t be associated with hard assets like land or buildings.

It all adds up to this – take a total loss on the grapes by not doing anything with them OR take a huge financial risk by making wine that doesn’t have a brand and doesn’t have a sales destination.

These sorts of stories aren’t isolated to one person, or one segment of the wine business.  Every aspect of the wine business supply-chain has a similar tale of woe where getting ahead of “getting by” meets consequential risk.

Yet, undaunted, the allure of the wine business holds steadfast for most.

Getting into the wine business?  Crazy talk?  Not unless you have an iron stomach, a penchant for hardship, a love for “poker chips in the middle of the table” risk and an opportunity for success that that gives the house a material edge.

Me? I just might simply open a bottle after a hard day’s work of doing something else, passion notwithstanding.


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Signposts on the Road to Ruination Part 234 and 235

On a daily basis the wine world has its own bizarre but true “news of the weird.”  It could be another celebrity wine, another wine-related health benefit, or more madcap antics from the French.  What we don’t always get however are clear signals that society is careening off the tracks. Without further ado, I present to you two examples of society lurching perilously close to the cliff’s edge.

Wine Flavored Swisher Sweet Cigarillos

Rumor has it that Winston Churchill used to dip his cigars in port.  Somehow, I’m guessing that modern day dignitaries aren’t buying up the already flavored Swisher Sweets, though.  The only people I know smoking them are wayward Jr. High kids and people that think Purple Haze is something you put in a bong and not on the stereo.

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I fancy myself a culturally literate guy even though my frame of reference for these sorts of things ended at the keg in college, and I’m guessing that a Brand Manager at Swisher International determined that women who smoke blunts need a wine flavored cigarillo ... no word on whether James Suckling has bridged his dual passions and reviewed the smoke ...

Psychological Warfare in the HR 5034 Campaign

A couple of months ago, the advertising community had a “great idea” smack to the forehead moment when an enterprising creative talent named Alec Brownstein bought Google adwords next to the names of five Creative Directors at advertising agencies he wanted to work for.

When the Creative Director Googled their name there was a Google ad that said, “Googling yourself is a lot of fun.  Hiring me is a lot of fun, too.”  The ad linked to Brownstein’s portfolio site.  From the five ads, Brownstein had interviews with four of his targets and earned two job offers.  He now works for Young & Rubicam, one of the largest agencies on Madison Avenue.

Clever idea, right? 

It’s so clever that it has been copied. 

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a change in leadership at WineAmerica.  At the time, what I alluded to, but didn’t explicitly state is that WineAmerica was getting seriously outworked by Tom Wark, author of Fermentation, wine Public Relations pro and the Executive Director of the Specialty Wine Retailers Association.  In the fight against HR 5034 Tom has been a one-man wrecking crew.  And, when the dust settles and the HR 5034 story ends happily (hopefully) every wine lover in the country can thank Tom for acting as the pivot in fomenting consumer awareness and coalescing industry wide support.

A guy like Tom, who already wakes each morning with intentions of fighting the good fight for wine shipping, has risen to the occasion in regards to creating awareness around HR 5034. 

Other people have noticed, as well.

Without further comment, I’ll direct you to Google in order to do a search for “Tom Wark” and see the Google Adwords that our friends from the National Beer Wholesalers Association have purchased.

if you feel particularly mischievous go ahead and click on the link and charge the NBWA a nickel for the ad placement.

Keep at it Tom.  Like a cornerback jamming a wide receiver at the line scrimmage, you’re in their head!

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